Who Are You?

I have been reading a lot the past couple of months, and I happened to come across an article by Sim on her Medium (we are starting to be friends, btw) that made me think, who am I, really? Before I answer that, give her story a read! I have now linked it twice in case you missed the first one, and here it is, in case you missed the earlier two: Who are you? Thank you.

For everyone who has known me for over three years now, allow me to reintroduce myself! 

I am a dreadhead. I think by now you know the whole backstory of my, no, our rastas. I firmly think that it is an extended part of my body that can, has, and will be used as a sex tool and I am not particularly averse to that. The hair has made me stand out when I wanted to, and even when I did not want to. It has made me dislike some hairstylists and like some. It has made me become friends with my neighbourhood chemist because I must get some muscle relaxers anytime I visit the salon. Plus, it makes it easier for me to find myself in group photos. Well, the rastas and the height, too.

I am a person who likes clean stuff. That does not mean I am always clean 100% of the time because I know myself, and the dishes in my sink occasionally have Mexican standoffs. There’s something about clean stuff that keeps my heart at ease. And I always use the pursuit of cleanliness as an excuse to listen to the hundreds of podcasts I am behind on. I can’t even remember the last time I had long nails!

I happen to be tall. Really tall. I have lost count of the number of times someone has been shocked by how tall I am now that I just shrug it off. The downside with being tall is that there are fewer and fewer shoes that I like that fit me, so I am stuck with a pair of Air Force Ones that are closing in on five years. The upside of it is that some pleasures are [REDACTED], and the height is a very good advantage there. Also, I can no longer sit comfortably in a 14-seater matatu. It is just too tiny for my legs and knees. Also, once I have enough core strength, I will always use my height advantage to carry Nyx everywhere we go without breaking a sweat!

I am a person who can no longer eat eggs. Whenever I do, I have pimple breakouts, so I have officially substituted eggs with the OG: chicken. I am also phasing out Blueband and margarine from my meals so that I can have lesser and lesser breakouts.

I always smell good. And that is by design. I shall not elaborate any further.

I am a person who is so curious. I always ask a lot of questions when I think that whatever you have to say might interest me, but if it doesn’t, I can be the most uninterested person you are ever going to meet. If I don’t ask you a follow-up question, you’d better start wrapping up your story. My curiosity has led me to places I never knew I could go, and has made me meet people I would not have otherwise, and brought about experiences that were majorly positive.

I also happen to have a good set of teeth. For eating, and for eating. I know people are not supposed to eat with their teeth, but I often use my incisors to [REDACTED], and no one has ever filed a complaint. In fact, that way, it is very effective. With the teeth comes the smile, and I have tangible proof that my smile can make someone fall in love with me. Over and over again.

I am a person who takes their hobbies seriously. I am an avid Chess player – two of my former students went and surpassed me, one lost interest, and my current student has a lot of potential. We shall see if she becomes a master, too. I read religiously, and I am currently reading three books simultaneously: Children of Dune, Without a Trace, and The Growth Leader. I also watch a lot of films. And by a lot, I mean a loooooottttttt! I have watched and logged over 190+ films since last year, and there is no end in sight. My habit is at least a movie a week, and most of the time, it is often two or three a week. Furthermore, I am in the kitchen a lot; it could be blending fruits to juicy pulp, baking, or trying out new recipes with my friend, to which we were called a Cookuationship™. I cycle every week, and occasionally, go for extended walks in nature. I also consume a lot of music, podcasts, and anime.

I have a lot of green stuff. Not to say that it is a conspiracy theory, but once I got a green bottle, it happens that most of the stuff I buy is green. I have a green bathroom brush, a green bike lock, a green ab wheeler, a green watch, three green shirts, a green pair of shoes, a green kitchen towel, a green blender, green underwear, a green salt shaker, green rollons, green wipes, a green throw blanket, a pair of green socks, a green umbrella, and a bunch of green tickers in my investment portfolio. I also turn green whenever I miss Nyx. So can I say that I love green? Not really. Now do you see the conspiracy?

It has been said that I am a person who is kind. I cannot refute that, but one of my guiding principles is that if it would be more beneficial for you than for me, then you should have it. It was never mine to begin with in the first place. I don’t think that will change anytime soon. However, if you cross me or Nyx, rest assured, I will be the most unkind person you will ever meet. I will give you one chance to be stupid, and once you do stupid things, I will never tolerate you or them again. 

Can we do a quick fire with absolutely no background info? I used to prefer boobs to ass, but now I firmly believe that two, or rather, four legends can coexist. I have a notebook and a half that has been filled with thousands of to-do lists that I enjoy ticking off. I am also a writer, as you can see. I change my mind a lot whenever I get new information. I like space, and who knows what is out there? I am easily influenced. I used to be addicted to Coke, but I have successfully replaced the need for soda with blended juice, and I have not drank soda in over 5 months. I am an empath. I sometimes come off as non-chalant, but I have a lot of chalants to give. I am really good at writing smut. I like having [REDACTED] in [REDACTED] positions and I once [REDACTED] for hours while The Matrix was on repeat. All in all, as Sim asked, “Who are you without your friends? Or without your job? Who are you when your family is not there? Who are you when you’re all alone? Who are you when you’re not performing? What are you like, when it’s just you?” As for me, I am a person who contains multitudes.

This was never meant to be long, so if you want to know me more, send me an email or a text. If you don’t know how and where to reach me, then maybe you aren’t meant to know me.

From Me To You

Every single day, I am learning more and more how to stand on business and get things done when I say I will get them done. This applies to both my curricular activities and extra-curricular activities. It sounds something easy, but this journey has been really long, and I am glad most of my efforts are getting the recognition they deserve. Who am I kidding? I have started getting paid on time and getting several referrals that I am eternally grateful for. Mostly it is the getting paid on time thing. 

For the August babies, I hope you find a new flavor of cake that you get to enjoy and mind-blown for the first time. And may your M-pesa balance not match you age for the rest of the year – it should always be greater! May your pet never get lost, too.

If this showed you who I am, then you should read my last story that shows who Gracie, my cat, is when he gets treats.