I know it sounds like a profound philosophical question, but I promise you it is not. It is just something I had a profound experience with for the last couple of days. And frankly, it has made my life waaaayyyy easier than I expected, so this is my narration of the same.

Before we get started, have you watched The Odyssey? If not, please do, because that film is as epic as they come! Christopher Nolan can have all my coins because all his movies are bangers after bangers! 

Anyway, like going to the theater, I could not say that my seat was mine; it was just my turn. Someone sat on that very seat before me, and someone sat after me. I think the same applies to most of the things I have the privilege to have in my life. I recently bought a water bottle, and I think it is the best perception of this. I have owned four or five water bottles in my life, and I can’t remember where the first two went, but the third got burnt when I thought I could drink hot coffee with it, so it ceased being mine and became the trash can’s water bottle and whichever dumpsite it ended up. The fourth one was borrowed “slightly” by a friend after a hike, and now I can confidently say that it is hers because I have made peace with never getting it back. I have since then bought a fifth one, and it is my turn to use it — I don’t know how long it had stayed at the supermarket, and even before that, at the manufacturer’s warehouse before shipping. Either way, it is my turn right now, and who knows where it will end up?

I think it is an enormous priviledge to have your turn with stuff. The same goes for my bike, watch, phone, or clothes. I know for a fact that I will not have the bike for my entire life, much less for five years, because I will give it to someone to have their turn with it. Until then, I will ensure all spokes are there and all tires have enough pressure. Have I ever washed it? Well, that is a good question because it is less than three months old, but I shall wash it together with the carpet when I do. I have given away more watches than I can count without thinking twice, and the facial expression of the recipient is always worth it when you literally take it off your wrist and gift it in real time. My previous phone was a hand-me-down from my aunt and what better way to appreciate the phone itself than by handing it down to someone who needed it? Eventually, the said person also handed it down to another person, so essentially, paying it forward. I have donated clothes, and I am also seeking a recipient for this next batch of donations, so if you know someone or some organization, please let me know!

I think at a foundational level, my perspective of this-doesn’t-belong-to-you-you-are-just-a-custodian has made it easier to detach myself from material things I happen to own. I get to fully enjoy and experience them in a way I would not if I thought that they were mine for all eternity. Plus, it has also taught me how to take care of stuff, because essentially, another person will always use it in some other measure or form. All my phones have always had a phone cover, and all my watches have always had a full battery. Every water bottle is always clean, and every cloth is always stitched. Every coin is spent to the fullest, or not to my friends who get random Mpesa alerts from me.

It also makes it easier to gift people things. A decade or so back, I found it unconventional that you’d just give someone something without expecting something back, but if I could talk to myself a decade back, I’d tell him that he has to have that thinking so that he could evolve into the me of now. Who is the me of now, you ask? If you as much as mention that you like something (that you don’t have at the moment) and I have the capacity to get it for and to you, believe you me, you will get it. Nyx has told me over and over again how thoughtful I am with my gifts, but it is almost never thoughtful. You mentioned you wanted something in a conversation, and I got it for you without breaking a sweat. You looked at something in the supermarket for an extra second longer than you wanted to? It is going into the cart. Inasmuch as it might appear thoughtful, to me, I see it as the least I could do for you to make your day a little bit brighter than it initially was. Have you had a baby recently? Be rest assured I shall send a basket of fruits to your door. My belief is that you would be in a way better position to use whatever I will gift you than whoever else. If it doesn’t make sense to you right now, it won’t until it does.

It also made me realize how short-lived things in and of themselves are, but how long-term experiences are. That fourth water bottle saw me when drunk, sober, happy, sad, hopeful, dejected, horny, crazy, jumpy, anxious, and even asleep. It has a life of its own, and I enjoyed it being my turn, and hope it is having yet another life with my friend that I shall never know of. It also applies to friendships. I might be your friend for a year only, but for that year, we will go all in with all experiences. We will fight, laugh, think, not-think, and do everything in between, apart from relationship stuff, because I am spoken for. You had a full life before me, and you will have a full life after me, so why don’t I make the most of the life you have with me? Why don’t I use my turn to the fullest?

However, let it be known that there are some exceptions to this train of thought. Some things are mine for all eternity, and nothing will change. Of course, I can mention a few. My boxers are my boxers***. The three asterisks are a technicality because apparently my boxers are our boxers with Nyx, but who am I to say no to her? After their shelf life, my boxers*** are burnt to a crisp. No one will use them before me, and no one will use them after me. My rastas are mine too***. Until they are Nyx’s and then they are our rastas. My money is mine***. My bed is mine***. My toothbrush is mine, too *** at this point, you get the gist whenever Nyx is involved, no? Gracie is technically not my cat because he was kidnapped after he was born and put in an Uber as a gift, but I will classify that as our cat. My family is my family, and that is not up for sharing. For any future children, they will be our children, and not the world’s children. My thoughts are my thoughts, though sometimes they might be heavily influenced by outside factors. 

It really makes me think that if I were a billionaire, I would have signed the giving pledge. But since I am not, I will still give things over to other people when I am through with my turn. Like right now, I am through with my turn of having these thoughts, so now, they are yours.

From Me To You

I have nothing to say other than I am on somewhat of a hot streak with sports at the moment – I have been waiting for Argentina to lose for a whole month, and I am glad they did; I have been on the Kimi Antonelli bandwagon since last season, and I am reaping the benefits with his race wins, and I finally watched The Odyssey, which was a sport in and of itself with Zeus’ Law.

To all the July babies, I hope your teams did not embarrass you a lot this World Cup, and I hope whoever you gift anything sees the value of the gift and appreciates it. I also hope you get a new water bottle.

Work has been hectic, but that is the price to pay for starting to be very important at work, no? To make my life easier, I just “discovered” a new writer and I think you should give her musings a read: Ladies and Gentlemen, Simnhom!

If you actually want to know what I have physically been up to, please read an excerpt of a newsletter I wrote to Nyx after attending a concert: No One Loves Me Betaaaa!