Dating 101!

I am reading through these blogs, and damn, I was going through STUFF in that period of my life. I mean, the growth speaks volumes, and I, in no way, demean the stuff I was going through, but come on! I was pretty much single and that was child’s play — I was on my way to seeing Shege Pro Max. I can confidently say that those were the good old days.

In case you haven’t read the story, read it here: Dating 101!

My primary school crush sadly passed away, but I’ll always remember how she let me stay back and hang out with her in her “camp” because my parents were getting a little late picking me up from school. She was playing with her crush/boyfriend at the moment, Leonard, yet she was still kind to me. I hated her for a solid few years for taking my compass because she was a prefect, and I didn’t talk to her for a long time after that. However, she made me feel special at one science/math fair in class eight when she heard my school was around and came looking for me. I was still shy, and I would like to believe she had started crushing on me, too. We never talked after that, but we followed each other on IG. May she rest in peace. And yes, she made me blush A LOT of times. 

My cousin is a teenager now, and I know she’s experiencing all this for the first time, so I often show her grace and do not get into her business all the time. She is an excellent roaster, though, because I have been burned a bunch of times. 

“Most people prefer online dating first, then physical meet up later.” Yeap, that’s me! To date, I have never dated someone I lived close to; well, I did date a classmate on campus, so that counts. Prior to that, you’d have never seen me in the streets, and I am glad I have met some friends who have made me more outgoing and physical. By physical, I mean going out and meeting them and having fun. Don’t get it confused; I’ll still take my sweet time before agreeing to meet you, and it sucks, but I need to have known you for over a year to consider meeting you in person. The only exception to this was Nyx, and I had known her for only a couple of weeks.

I would not recommend dating your best friend anymore and will not explain that.

Dating after sex? Well, all I can say is I have a canon event surrounding that, and I respect her too much to divulge any more information than you already know.

I think the rest of my advice is pretty solid. For someone who was not in a relationship then, I had some fantastic advice for people in relationships, but I was in over my head, too.

One thing I noticed is that dating while you’re a student is so different from dating when you are part of the workforce. Your heart will be in the right place most of the time, but your pocket won’t. For the record, working takes away moooooooooooooooossssssssssssssssstttttttttttttt of your time, and one thing you have to do is be intentional and more understanding than you’d like. And I don’t mean the big stuff all the time; I mean cleaning up after them, cooking one more time because they were working, or going to bed alone because of a deadline, or going for walks because they like walks and you don’t, or washing the soap off the walls after showering or investing in washroom fragrance because they might be cute but their digestive system is not. You always have to remember that they are a whole person, and they exist in and of themselves, and they have had different experiences because if you see them as merely an extension of you; boy, do I have a story for you! 

From Me to You

I still think that dating should be fun, but adulting sucks the life out of it most of the time, and you really need to be strong, like literal strength too. 

The next time you see me will be in your emails with my quarterly newsletter, so ensure you subscribe after reading this! Or reading my last blog about the dishes in my sink.

For those who are keeping count, my employer is forcing me to save yet another month!